Thank You Readers

It all started one fine day when I read some fan fictions relating Bade Acche, the only daily soap I watched, loved, still watch on repeat mode and can't stop loving it.

Coming from a family where I grew up watching Grand Father reading out stories when ever you are free. Interestingly I kept on listening to them until I remember each and every word with punctuation by heart. A 3 year child only could pretend then how mastered power she has over the language be it bengali, my mother tongue, or english. I still remember my visit to the book fairs with my parents. They encouraged me to have books not dolls. Somehow from my early childhood I had a natural bonding with books, copies, pens and pencils. When a child of my age used to bargain for toys or dolls with parents, I never had to bargain even once for the books. Now I am the owner of 163 books don't know when and where the number will stop or ever will stop either.

Having a natural instinct and love for writing, which I generally used to do at the back page of the notebooks, one day I tried my hand on fan fictions. I got response some good some bad. Trust me if you will ask me to rate my fan fics from the archives I will be rating them in negative and now may be 3 or 4 out of 10.  This never stopped until one day I started to hide myself in the shell after my mother's sad demise. Being the closest to mother I couldn't accept her death, when it is the only truth of human's life.

I eloped from every possible sites communication mediums suddenly. All of a sudden I felt like a person burdened with the duties and responsibilities of an 80 year old. One fine day doctor pronounced and diagnosed me with clinical depression. I felt like the worst person whom people will now call mentally retarded. I reject to accept that I am ill and like every other patient having physical imbalances I also need help to come out of my pshycological imbalance.  But my cousin convinced me. He took me to doctor and pushed me towards light! Sad, I lost him too to God.

When I was just recovering, accepting the truth having the challenges to fight back; I  lost my cousin first my father then my cousin. But this time I denied to give up. Just a line i wrote on my journal on 15.12.16 "You lost everything, there is nothing you could loose now other than your life which will be the ultimate truth. So before loosing to the eternity one last time you have to try to rise. If you rise it will be a bonus, no achievements. If you don't you don't loose nothing. So before you sleep give it a try." Then my thoughts went straight towards the people who waited for me but left unsaid without hearing from me. Will they understand? Will they accept me? With all this swrils and twirls I droped that thought too. What can happen worse, I will not be accepted back. I planned to comeback. Then My brain knocked me Comebacks are tough!!! I neglected it too, I listened to my heart. I tapped my own shoulders and said to myself Give it a try, even if you fail you will never regret that you never tried. So, with much fear than courage I started scribbing down the thoughts again.

Readers, I owe you a big thank you. Thank You for not forgetting me, thank you for waiting, thank you for loving, thank you for everything. And most importantly thank you for inspiring me and making me believe in me.

Now what so ever happens  only if death don't knock at my door, I will never stop writing.

Thank You Readers for making me believe comebacks are possible.

Love

NB